The following was the evolution of an intended front-page, but I got into writing and didn't stop in time.
One of the things I'm doing right now more than usual is sorting out my life and fixing things I broke. One of the biggest issues I keep running into is this: I gotta set my own bloody record straight. And so, I have to do a bunch of writing, which I'm slowly coalescing from my various creative outlets.
Erm, creative outlets? Is that right? I'm confusedly scowling right now. I once saw them as "creative outlets", but I'm growing to perceive them as "social outlets". One of the big things I was "wrong" about, I think, is being an introvert. This is a really hard bullet to bite, because there's multiple true narratives that exist simultaneously and interfere with each other. Welcome to the quandary of identity that is me. Fortunately, specifying this identity is going to have massive mental health benefits. A lot of what I attributed to "poor mental health" was, more properly, "abandonment of healthy habits".
Ben, seriously, you have the gall to talk about habits?! I'm laughing at myself right now. I don't really have habits. Habits were, as I once perceived them, rather anathema to maximizing my creativity. Make no day ever the same! Nevertheless, there are patterns that become obvious upon contemplation of my personal history.
So, uh, one really bad habit was drug use. For example, I'm addicted to caffeine. I kind of wish my parents had never permitted it from me. Drugs are bad, guys. For real. Alcohol is a drug. Did you know that the word pharmacy, which is very cognate with pharmakos in Koine Greek, also means sorcery, witchcraft? No one in the rave scene really argues against the point. The term "shaman" itself speaks to the same identity.
What am I even writing here? A short diary-style blog entry, I guess.
Hello, friend. I'm beginning to document the chronicle of events that have transpired since I began to aggressively pursue introversion as a lifestyle. This page is meant to be kind of pretty, but that one focuses on being easy to read.
You're reading a really early draft.